Already Too Late
by MauMaster
Summary: Jace wanted to reach out and kiss her again, kiss her until she smiled. He pushed those thoughts back, pushed them away urgently before he became a monster. CoA


**Title: **Already Too Late

**Summary: **

_Jace wanted to reach out and kiss her again, kiss her until she smiled. He pushed those thoughts back, pushed them away urgently before he became a monster. CoA_

**Notes: **Well, this is just a little fic I wrote in about twenty minutes. I apologize if it sucks, but I had to get it out of my head and quickly! Dedicated to my friend who made it so I can no longer read "I've never even been to England" without a British accent in my head.

Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Mortal Instruments, unfortunately. I also do not own any dialogue used from CoA (I had to write this with the book on my lap to make sure I didn't go off script)**

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_Simon whirled around, looking furious, and said, "You **don't** have to do this, Clary, it's a trick –"_

_"Not a trick," Jace said. "A test."_

_"Well, I don't know about you, Simon," Isabelle said, her voice edged. "But **I'd** like to get Clary out of here."_

_"Like you'd kiss Alec," Simon said, "Just because the Queen of Seelie Court asked you to?"_

_"Sure I would." Isabelle sounded annoyed. "If the other option was being stuck in Seelie Court forever? Who cares anyway? It's just a kiss."_

_"That's right." It was Jace. Clary saw him, at the blurred edge of her vision, as he moved toward her and put a hand on her shoulder, turning her to face him. "It's just a kiss," he said, and though his ton was harsh, his hands were inexplicably gentle._

**_- City of Ashes, US paperback edition, chapter 8, page 172_**

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Jace felt unbearably selfish as he leaned in to Clary.

He was aching to do this, his lips tingling with the after effects even though they had barely touched yet. It was wrong, it was disgusting – they were siblings! It wasn't Clary's fault in any way – she couldn't help the fact that her image in his head made him eager for physical contact, made him shake in her loveliness.

Clary wasn't the one leaning in for the kiss. She was frozen, unmoving, the completely opposite of Jace. Jace was the one that was crude and horrible.

He quickly mulled over his thoughts. Just a kiss. A kiss didn't have to be much. It could be a peck on the lips, just a slight pressing of their mouths together before pulling away. But that, that idea even, was cruel, Jace thought. It was a tease, the dangling of what he could never have right in his face.

Simon was standing a few feet away, agitated and uncomfortable. Jace was obscenely jealous of the mundane. Clary wasn't horrified at the idea of kissing him. He wasn't her brother.

Selfish as he was, he wanted to do it his way. That didn't mean it had to be hard on Clary. Clary didn't realize that a kiss didn't have to necessarily mean the works. "You can close your eyes and think of England, if you like."

Clary's hot breath reached his face as she said, "I've never even been to England."

He breathed in her scent and his grip on her shoulders tightened. Her eyes were shut tight, a sure sign that she was dreading this. Jace felt horrible. He changed his plan last minute as he leaned in to kiss her. He wasn't a monster. He loved her, but not enough to do that to her. Just a peck. Their lips would touch and then there'd be distance. That was all.

He brushed her lips with his own and was about to move back when her lips parted. She went almost limp in his arms and Jace felt her soft hands circle around his neck.

Screw the peck. She was tempting him way too much. If she wanted this, she'd get it. If she didn't, she could pull away.

He twined his fingers in her beautiful curls and pressed himself to her more, feeling the warmth and pleasantness. His hands slipped down her back against his own thoughts – which were almost nonexistent – and suddenly the reality of what he was facing came into play.

He stepped back gently, his lips lingering on her's for only a second. She was so beautiful, even as she looked at him blankly.

Shit. What had he _done?_ He had practically molested his _sister! _There was the fact that she seemed to enjoy it, but how was he to know if it was all fake or not? He felt dirty. In need for a long hot shower. In need for a new set of skin and a new mind because he was sure that his own would never rid of the memory of her touch.

He broke the gaze and tightened his fists. This was why he generally hated the Fair Folk. They made humans – mundane or Nephilim – feel like animals compared to their immortal perfection.

The Queen was smiling with a hand over her mouth. "Was that good enough? Did that entertain you?" he shouted.

His gaze flicked to Clary. She was watching the Seelie Queen intently as she said, "We are quite entertained. But not, I think, so much as both of you."

He tried not to scowl. Scowling at the Queen wasn't wise. The truth was, he had enjoyed it. Too much, he enjoyed it. He felt disgusted at himself for enjoying it, but not for doing it. He's regret the action for ages. But the chance to touch her just this one more time was wonderful.

"I can only assume that mortal emotions amuse you because you have none of your own."

Isabelle cut in, to save him from doing something stupid. It was too late for that. Jace found himself wishing Alec was there. Alec was good at preventing stupid things before they happened. If Alec had been there, Jace could have expected Clary to be slapped across the face before licking her fingers.

Alec would have enjoyed the opportunity, Jace figured. He decided not to mention it to him. No use in ruining Alec's memories of time with the warlock.

"Easy, Jace," Isabelle said. To Clary, she asked, "Can you leave now? Are you free?"

Clary took a few steps towards the door. Her cheeks were flushed, not that Jace thought she noticed. Her hair bounced with her step and Jace tried to fight the emotions off again. Sister sister sister! She was his _sister!_

He felt vaguely bad for the mundane, who was still staring as if somebody had plopped the unsuspecting kid in the middle of a strip club. It wasn't too far off, Jace speculated. If he had let himself get carried away, it might have ended up that way.

"We should go," Clary whispered. "Before it's too late." Jace didn't think she realized that she whispered. Her voice was a mix of upset and even – the kind of voice that you have when you _think _it's steady and it's not.

Jace wanted to reach out and kiss her again, kiss her until she smiled. He pushed those thoughts back, pushed them away urgently before he became a monster.

Simon stepped past her. "It's already too late."

Jace's lips were still burning from the touch of her's. He came to a sinking realization – he was already a monster and he couldn't agree with the mundane more. It was much too late to stop it.

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Notes: Well, I hope you enjoyed it! Feedback is great - I won't be able to get back to anyone this weekend, I'll be away, but I'll try as soon as I can!


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